Personal reflections on the Worthy Retreat

It's now been over a week since we gathered in Sicily for a retreat that truly left me with tears of gratitude. I've had some time to reflect on and thank the Lord for all that He did. This retreat was a personal milestone for me, but I would say also for many others who joined the journey.

Sister Talk began to branch into retreats only six months ago, with "Beautiful year" Being our very first one, in a cosy cabin just 40 minutes from Bergen. There 15 of us became a family in only two nights. We connected with ourselves, each other, and the Lord. We vulnerably shared, we cried and we laughed. It was glorious. Then in May was the first ever Sister Talk retreat in Australia: "Beloved". I was fortunate enough to use a family owned BnB to host the mini retreat, which was a one-day / one-night event, with a smaller group of 5-8 of us (depending on what session, because it was a bit more of a fluid group). This retreat was more of a "pull away from the busy buzz of life" than the others, with a focus on stillness, as in Psalm 23, so that we could rest in the love of the father.

Before we ever branched into retreats, before it was ever a foreseeable possibility, I used to dream of simply picking a location, anywhere on the globe, calling a retreat, and experiencing the exhilarating joy of creating a space where any woman can experience the whole package of retreating, meeting other like-minded amazing women, gaining the experience of fun, travel & vacation, and meeting intimately with the Lord, being refreshed, healed, set free and realigned all at once.

I have this deep desire to bless the daughters of God with something fun to look forward too, and with a family of sisters to belong to. And that is why running the first ever vacation / location-retreat was such an event at which I needed to pinch myself to be sure I wasn't dreaming.

Another thing that has been BIG on my heart has been to empower women to own their femininity & their womanhood as a safe, pure and holy gift from God. After having been through my own journey of walking into wholeness and freedom in these areas, I deeply desired to be able to give what I had received to my sisters. The worthy retreat was, in many ways, the first time I felt the Lord working through me in these particular areas.

So let me begin by talking a little about the femininity part, because that was indeed among my personal highlights. I knew I wanted to minister to this, but I wasn't going to bring up the topic cold-turkey. I wanted to see if this was also on the Father's heart, and so released the desire to Him to initiate, if it would be His will.

On the third day of the retreat, Sharon, an amazing team member & leader on the retreats, was leading a creative workshop in which we were to paint an object that had meaning to us. One of the gorgeous souls on this retreat painted one of the first lipsticks that she had purchased, and shared with us her vulnerable story and journey that went with that. Her story is not mine to share, but it came with a deep theme of being able to shamelessly embrace her femininity, despite coming from a home where there was no space given for that. I immediately felt the Holy Spirit landing on her story, and asked if others resonated. Sure enough, we hit the root system of everyone's personal wrestle and journey with beauty, self worth, womanhood, and the core-deep question that we all have - "Am I worth it? Am I desired? am I captivating?" We affectionately started referring to that day as the "crying session", because of the depths that were opened up. I truly felt the father's heart for this topic: it means SO much to him. He cares deeply. The quote that seemed to sum up that Thursday was "A pink dress is no small thing", meaning, that those young feminine desires we had as little girls, were echoes of our inner core, of who we ARE. And we are not to deny them anymore. There was deep reconciliation to that reality, as we each personally received the gift and right of our femininity from the Father, who cares DEEPLY about this topic. Receiving is KEY to this journey, as we cannot make it happen ourselves. We only own what we have received. And for many of us, we could only receive so much from our own parents, because they too could only receive so much from theirs. We may have understanding in our heads, but we only own what we can truly give away to the next generation. So we received from the father what could only truly be given by Him.

That night was also a highlight to me. After a deep day, we had a high night. We went out for dinner at a restaurant, and on this particular night, my husband Felix also joined us. After eating, Felix, stood up and began to sing an Italian opera (completely butchering the lyrics, but who cares, it was hilarious!) One thing led to another - another man in the restaurant (I think from the UK) joined Felix. (He actually knew the lyrics). Then the waiter couldn't resist, and joined in. Soon, we were creating our own percussive instruments with forks and glasses, us women swaying and dancing along the "It's AMORE", The three men passionately singing along, and me especially laughing so hard, I couldn't breathe. But then, the waiter took it up a notch more, and involved Alexa, much to our comedic experience. Soon, the whole restaurant was our very own dance party, and, getting up from our seats, we took over the whole place and danced our hearts away. The waiter took the hand of one of the girls and danced with her, and we all just had the most fun we had experienced in a long time. When it was time to go home, we danced the whole way back through the cobble-stone streets, not wanting to let go of our personal party. We loudly and boldly (In Norway it would have been so obnoxious, but in Italy, absolutely celebrated 😂 even with Felix's made-up Italian words) danced and sang - all 15 of us. It was quite a scene. In retrospect, it felt like an overflowing joyful expression of the deep healing that had happened that day in the crying session. We were dancing in our personal freedoms: freedom from shame, fear, and other bondages that held us back.

Now what to say about the above subtitles, I'll keep it short & sweet:

- Freetime was just as important. There is something about travel that opens up new parts of yourself, which is why it was important to me that the ladies have that opportunity to see something new, with new people. To be inspired, and to refresh the soul. Our car went and explored some natural volcanic hot springs, and created some cute memories.

- Food, as always in Italy, was so worth all the additional calories.

- The villa was a serene Eden for al us Eves to rest in. Right by the beach, and with plenty of space, showers & bathrooms. Just what 14 women need. Perfetto.

Then, we ended with a photoshoot. The opportunity to partner with who God says we are. Each woman was photographed privately after a little red carpet ceremony and some prayer. These photo shoots touched me so deeply, that at the end of the day I just had to cry. The women were so brave, and all looked so stunning. Each took different risks, depending on what they felt the Lord inviting them to do. Whether it was a simple portrait with no posing, a swimsuit shot to embrace womanhood and the body, to wear the lipstick and the dress, or to simply be beautiful in activewear and no makeup, everyone took the steps to actively agree with their worth.

There was a lot of work that went into this, and I couldn't have done it without Felix & Sharon, or the intercessor team in Norway. We also encountered a lot of opposition as a team: being ripped off a few hundred Euros, a suitcase that went missing and arrived on the last day of retreat, Felix's bnb being cancelled on the day we were due to arrive... but no weapon forged against us prospered.

And I personally had my own sweet breakthrough. I was challenged in the area of worth in the form of "am I worthy to be running this? Shouldn't it be someone else?"But to receive the approval from the Lord and remember that God doesn't call the equipped, but equips the called was a cornerstone for me.

I would love to share some of the revelations from this retreat, and will do so either via instagram or the Blog, so stay tuned for more.

Oh, and you can be sure that this there will be many more retreats in future... xx